My Favorite Facebook “Updater” – Part 2


Here are some more funny updates from my favorite Facebook Status "Updater" – Roy Alexander:

  • Relax people…'s not like McDonald's shut down!
  • College
    admission should be, "Use your, you're, then, than, their, there and
    they're in sentences." If you fail, you restart the 4th grade.
  • I'm CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
  • Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with… How did 2 sticks win out!?
  • Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller…
  • Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
  • My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW RIGHT?
  • I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I'm exhausted.
  • My wife said she expects the house to be clean by the time she walks in the door so I changed all of the locks.
  • Why does this membership application to the YMCA not have "The Village People" as an option for "How did you hear about us?"
  • Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
  • If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.

I admit – Roy is my favorite thing about Facebook.

  1. Hi David,
    Oh man, I LOVE these!! This guy is so witty and I bust out laughing @ the OCD one. He’s a “thinker” to come up with these. Made my day, still giggling! Thanks for sharing these!! Thanks for sharing all that you do here. Your talk ab politics on social media was so needed & thought provoking! Anyway, thanks for the laughs the past few days!! I hope you & your family are very well!

  2. I laughed so hard I started to cry. Some co-workers want to friend request him on facebook. Thanks Dave and Roy. That madey day alot better

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