During the sermon series "Fighting Fair" – I talked a lot about seeking forgiveness. In one of the sermons I talked about HOW to ask for forgiveness. It was the 7 A's of Confession:
- Address everyone involved
- Avoid "if" "but" and "maybe"
- Admit specifically
- Acknowledge the hurt
- Accept the consequences
- Alter your behavior
- Ask for forgiveness
In the sermon, I also talked about "faux-pologies." A faux-pology is an fake apology. I gave several examples during that sermon. But I'm not sure there is a worse example of an apology than Donald Sterling.
Below are two videos of Donald Sterling breaking almost every rule of seeking forgiveness:
What he said and how it ruins the apology and request for forgiveness:
- "I'm a good member who made a mistake." (calling it a mistake over and over)
- "Am I entitled to one mistake after 35 years?" (we are never entitled to sin)
- He was asked why he waited so long to apologize. His answer: "I was so emotionally distraught. And the reason [I waited so long] is I'm wrong – I caused the problem. I don't know how to correct it." (How about ask forgiveness immediately without the excuses?)
- "If I said anything wrong, I'm sorry." (Oh boy, the classic faux-pology line.)
- In speaking of Magic Johnson (against whom his racist comments were directed) – remember, this is part of his apology: "Has he done everything he can do to help minorities? I don't think so. I'll say it… he's great, but I just don't think he is a good example for the children of Los Angeles."
- "I don't know why the girl had me say those things." (Apparently, it isn't his fault.)
- "An 80-year old man is kind of foolish." (His age makes it excusable, I guess.)
- "I wish I could ask her 'why?'" (Again, pointing the blame at the woman who recorded him.)
Here is a second video:
From the second video (most importantly, remember that this is when he is supposedly apologizing for his racist comments):
- About Magic Johnson: "Here is a man… he acts so holy. He made love to every girl in every city in America, and he had AIDS… I didn't criticize him. Is he an example to children?"
- About Magic Johnson: "I think he wanted me to do nothing so he could buy the team."
- About Magic Johnson: "What has he done? Can you tell me? Big Magic Johnson. What has he done? He's got AIDS… What kind of a guy goes to every city and has sex with every girl then he catches HIV. Is that someone we want to respect and tell our kids about? I think he should be ashamed of himself. I think he should go into the backdrop."
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