My Favorite Facebook “Updater” – Part 3

I've been posting some of my favorite updates from my favorite Facebook "updater", Roy Alexander. You can see part 1 HERE and part 2 HERE.

Here is a third and final list of some of my favorite status updates from Roy:

  • Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5 min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5 min” are one and the same?
  • I'm
    starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not
    because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to
    clean it.
  • Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
  • Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…
  • It
    is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to
    understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.
  • We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • I
    saw a sign on the door of a Wal-Mart that said “It is illegal to set
    off fireworks inside the building.” I really wish I had been there on
    the day they decided it was necessary to post that.
  • Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale??? 
    A northern fairytale begins, …'Once upon a time…' 
    A southern fairytale begins,…. 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this.
  • Whew, good thing there's a Facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we'd be in real trouble.

Roy

For continued laughs – just "friend" Roy Alexander on Facebook. His picture is above and his hometown is West Chester, PA. Hopefully you can find him.

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