Relationships: A Mess Worth Making – chapter 9

I'm still away on a trip for our 20th anniversary. My brother, Greg, is teaching at Northridge this morning! Enjoy!

Here are some highlights of chapter 9 from "Relationships: A Mess Worth Making"


  • When we choose to pratice true forgiveness, the relationship is not just brought back to where it was before the offense; it actually moves farther down the road to maturity. (p. 93)
  • Forgiveness is one of the most poorly practiced activities in the Christian community – if it is practiced at all. (p. 93)
  • Forgiveness involves canceling a debt. By forfeiting your right to collect, you make at least three promises.
    • You promise that you will not bring up the debt to use it as leverage. When you forgive, you are saying that you will not make the offender pay by reminding him of what he has done in an effort to control him.
    • You promise that you will not bring up the offense to others and slander the person who sinned against you.
    • Finally, you promise not to dwell on the offense yourself. One of the biggest challenges when someone sins against you is to not replay the offense over and over again in your mind. (pp. 95-96)
One comment
  1. One of the statements that really mad forgiveness come alive to me is that sin always involves a debt. I “knew” that in my relationship with God, but it took me a while to apply that to my relationships with others. As soon as I saw that I realized why forgiveness is costly and why it is so hard for me, at times, to forgive as I should.

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